Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The REAL housewives of Knox County...



First of all, I am going to start this one off by saying that I am an awful, horrible soul. Its out there on the table so there is no need talking about me behind my back. It is what it is.

This morning when I woke up, I stumbled into the kitchen (to pour myself a cup of ambition...no- wait... that's Dolly's gig) to get a cup of coffee and low and behold, there it was. A sink FULL of dishes surrounded by dirty dishes on the counter top that wouldn't fit into the sink. The kitchen table was a mess- cereal spilled all over it, chairs pushed out, apple peels and a peeler just sitting directly on the tabletop. Are you kidding me?!

Let me back up a bit and tell you that I FINALLY got to so out to dinner with my yayas to celebrate CHRISTMAS last night. I say finally because that just proves a point that Momma's extra curricular activities always come last. I had not been with the girls since well before Christmas and I was so looking forward to relaxing and catching up. I woke up with a spring in my step ready to clean up the house after coming off a long week full of snow days and little children who had been home from school making messes on said snow days. I was ready to reclaim my house. This brings in the "keeping it real" part of my blog.

I actually took pictures of my mess (or at least some of it) because now that I am blogging again, it seemed "blog worthy". So here you go- Here is the glamorous life I lead. Don't be a hater. You too can lead this life. I will divulge my secrets to you. All you have to do is ask.

Notice the organic types of food a Real Knox County Housewife serves her family. Hot dog buns and Diet Mt. Dew.
This is the chest in my foyer. Its the first thing you see when you come into my house. Yes- it is stacked with mail that I haven't gone through in weeks. If I owe you money, chances are that your bill is somewhere in there and I will get to it. That is if it doesn't snow again.
yep- that's a lot to go through and I keep putting it off...
This is a shot off my back deck. Two bowls that are STILL sitting there as I type. This picture was made like three days ago. Mary Lawson and her friend made snow lemonade (whatever that is). All I know is that they were outside and entertaining themselves so I would have let them taken the living room sofa outside if they had asked. Nonetheless- bowls still there.
Dirt on the floor where little miss prissy plays.This is only a sampling of her toy mess.
And the twins room. uggh! The twins. You have no idea how messy they are! AND there's two of them!

Stacks of clean laundry to put away that most likely will never get put away and will end up back down the laundry chute, some still folded.
my mud room. yes. that is a Santa Claus that hasn't been put up yet and now that I glance over my shoulder, he is still sitting there waiting to be put up.
ML's room


This just might be my FAVORITE! This is David's "hunting room". Also known as the hamster room. The storage room. The "gun" room. I am proud to say that it doesn't look like this anymore because I got tired of waiting on him to clean it up so I did. Lets just say that I have no idea where I put anything and I am not responsible for lost or thrown away items. You should have done it yourself.

And my computer table. Those wires are out of control and kids toys strewn about and there's my trusty Starbucks and my bottle of wine for night time facebooking. Don't you judge me.
mud trail.
and the grand finale- that is our sled that was left in our neighbor's driveway. Here's the kicker... we don't even know them. Never met them. They just moved in like two days ago. They hate us already, I'm sure of it.


Back to my story. So, I wake up ready to take my house back over. I clean and organize up to the very moment I have to leave. Scratch that, GET to leave.All that you see in those pictures was straightened and put back in order. My sweet husband (who is a saint) had to work all day so as he walked in the door, I tagged him in and I left feeling accomplished and like I could really relax and enjoy my time with my friends. I had a great time. Got home close to 11. I know- party animal! Just another example of how a Knox County housewife rolls. Walked in the door and said hello to my husband who was watching TV in the living room. Walked into my bedroom, put my PJ's on and got into bed to watch a movie. And that is the end of the story until this morning when I woke up to the kitchen mess.

I LOST it. I mean LOST IT! I ranted and raved and shamed children and woke my husband to yell at him. I cleaned it all up again and still couldn't let it go. I made smart comments under my breath when anyone came within earshot of me. and then that is when a thought popped into my head. Think of the devil sitting on my shoulder (cause I'm sure he was) whispering to me, "Be done with it". And honestly, I wanted to pack a bag and walk out of the house and move to a beach somewhere and work renting wave runners to tourists but of course I would never. I still felt guilty for even having the thought of it. I recollected my self and gained control over my temper and cooled it down. About that time, Reagan walks in looking like this.


she made it herself. See what it says. "How imaginative, Reagan! I LOVE it! Let me take your picture! What are you playing anyway? Hospital? Let me see what the other girls are doing." Then I walk into the "hospital room" where I found Mary Lawson and her bestie, Hadly Anna sitting in "hospital beds" getting ready to give birth.
To bouncing baby balloons! Hilarious. Now... How could I ever leave this behind?!
and that my friends, is the Real Life of a Real Housewife of Knox County. Don't be a hater.





And just like that. As I was typing that last line, I hear the announcement that the princess has arrived! Humming some royal tune, they bring her in!
Life could not be any better.

6 comments:

Robert said...

You have no idea how much better you made me feel by seeing that even the infamous JJ's house gets ramsacked by children, and your sweet self gets grouchy and yells at sweet hubbys and kids too. ;)I had a similar day myself this morning and sent the kids to church alone with their daddy. While I stayed home, took benadryl and went back to sleep! Some days just seem better slept away, if possible huh? They are home now, and I am feeling better. XOXO JILL! Keep on keepin it real homeslice! :) (Posted by Danielle, not Robert obviously)

CarolinaGirl said...

Girl, I have these days once a week! :)

Jontisha Graves said...

Too bad you aren't writing anymore...you are hilarious and this is my life you illustrated!

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