Thursday, April 24, 2008

Purpose

Hanging out with Hutton... some good quality time. When you have five children, it is hard to find time to spend one on one with each individual child. Its sad really. When I get that rare time, I always learn something profound about that child. Something that makes me so depressed to think that I maybe never even really knew them in the first place. They aren't really just this little sweet person that you like to dress up in cute clothes or who are there to entertain you by performing in their tennis matches or watching their childish ways as they play together. They aren't just these little people who comfort you by loving you unconditionally. They are sweet souls who have meaning, placed here by God for a purpose. A real purpose. What is Hutton's real purpose? I don't know but after what she has overcome, I can't wait to find out!

Hutton watching her video.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The time is approaching and to tell you the truth, my knees are buckling and I find myself overcome with the feeling that I can't take a breath. Then the pity sets in... "Why Lord? Why us? Why Hutton?". The truth of the matter is of course I feel that way, but I feel like it has been such an honor to have been given what we have been given.
The whispering around here about going back to Philly has began. Am I whispering because I don't want the kids to hear and get upset or because if I say it outloud then it will be reality? Honestly I am not sure.

Every morning it is harder and harder to get out of bed. I open my eyes and for a split second I haven't realized what my life is like right now...just a split second. Then I remember.

"Oh Lord, can I face this today? Can I ACTUALLY do this? What if I can't? What if this is the day that I can't?" Then I hear Him. He says, "no my sweet child. YOU can't do this today. You are right. But I will. I will do it for you." Just like a good daddy, he comes in to save the day. Thanking God for his faithfulness, I begin my day.

Please don't anyone misunderstand. Hutton is a JOY! I am in love with that child more than anyone can fathom. I have a bond with her like no one else. Maybe because I don't know how much longer I have with her. What if you had only one more day to live? What would you do? I know just about everyone has thought of that before. Its not a new question. Now, what if you knew you only had one more day with your baby? What would you say to them? What would you want them to know? I find myself soaking up moments with Hutton. Taking deep breaths of her sweet scent in just in case because I never want to forget what she smells like. Examining every inch of her soft smooth skin memorizing every dimple and every scar. Sitting with my cheek pressed against hers so that I will never forget what she feels like. My heart swells so much that it actually hurts. Oh that sweet baby! What a blessing she is to our family. I wish I had done that with all my babies because truthfully, I can't remember those things about them. The things I take for granted... forgive me, Lord.

So, word on the streets is that they want us in Philly on Sunday. They will cath her on Tuesday and then surgery on Wednesday. We are still trying to work out transportation. I will let everyone know as soon as we do.

Oh and the song playing when you first get on the blog... well, I found it on another blog from a family that I have fallen in love with. They have just lost their baby and I have been so inspired by them. This song pretty much says how I am feeling right now. I plan on posting more of my favorites later but for now I am off to snuggle with my Baby Buttons.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Shannon

Happy Birthday, my sweet sweet friend!
Isn't Shannon BEAUTIFUL? For those of you who don't know her, the beauty you see right now isn't even the half of it!!! This gal (thats for you Merri) is THE BEST! I don't think I have ever met anyone so loving hearted and kind in all my life (with the exception of my sweet Mimi Dot, "Saint Mimi")! This BEAUTIFUL girl and her equally as sweet hubby, Jim, come to our rescue time and time again when we need them. They are our children's God parents and they come to our aid to fill in the gap when we are having to take care of Hutton in Philly. They LOVE our babies just like we do and I have never had a time when I didn't think I could call on them for anything. Shannon, you are like a sister to me. I love you dearly and can never thank you enough for your undying friendship and loyalty. Its a friendship like no other and I praise God for you!


" A friend LOVES at all times. He is there to help when trouble comes." Proverbs 17:17

Here are some pictures from last Saturday night, when we got together to celebrate Shannon! David worked so hard all week getting the boat ready for our sweet friend's celebration, even ending up in the ER (wish I had pics to post of that!) with a VERY close call and pretty impressive head injury! Of course we have given Shannon a hard time reminding her of WHO he was getting the boat ready for when he fell backwards into the engine compartment (about five feet down) cracking his head open! After an ambulance ride and a few staples he is almost as good as new!
The Girls! Libby, Merri, Me, and Shannon.

The boys... Alan, Gary B, Jim, and David.
Merri and Gary.

Me and David.

Jim and Shannon.

The girls again.

It was so much fun! Thank you, Shannon for giving such reason to CELEBRATE! I mean... you only turn 29 once....right? I love you, Shannon!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Random

My friend, Tonya does a thing on Friday on her blog called Favorite Foto Friday. There is usually a theme and you post on that theme. Well, I am improvising today and I am just going to post some random favorite fotos.

Everyone is "best friends" at Disney. These pics cracks me up because they aren't staged. Cooper and ML are far from best friends at home but everytime we are at "the happiest place on earth" they are instant best friends. Maybe we could just move to Disney World!


Not sure why I love this picture of Reagan. I just do.I love this vintage look that Mimi has going on here. Its simple and "messy cute" all at the same time.I love this picture of Mary Lawson for many reasons. I love the way her skin looks so baby soft that you can almost feel it through the photo paper. I love how she has puppy dog eyes. I love her big pink lips and the beauty mark on her chin. I also love how you can see how bright and fun her bedroom is in the background.I think I love this picture of Buttons because it was one of the first taken that she didn't look sick. She is a beautiful baby.

So there you have it... random, huh?

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Thankful Thursday

I am sitting here pondering some things and am going to "think outloud" here today so just bear with me. If you are from Knoxville, you may have heard of The Moeller Family. I am not sure if I am even spelling their name correctly, I have never met them (although I would love to someday) but I did have the pleasure of hearing Cathy speak at a PEP days for moms meeting years ago. Mike and Cathy Moeller have a little girl who is a miracle. She was so near to death that Cathy and Mike experienced God in a very deep and personal way. To see what I am talking about, you can read Mike's book, Above The Clouds. When I read it, one thing that I will never forget was Mike talking about the deal with the devil that he almost made. Not that he actually talked to Satan and formed a "formal deal" with him. What it was all about was that when their little girl was so sick, they had set up a phone line where friends could call and get the update about how Morgan was doing that day. This was before caringbridge sites. So, Mike noticed that everytime he put a message on there saying that Morgan was doing great and praising The Lord and giving him credit for what he had done, something horrible would happen at the hospital and Morgan would start doing bad. So he thought to himself that he was going to stop leaving those messages praising God for how He was healing Morgan. Then he realized by doing that, he would be making Satan so happy and that it was EXACTLY what Satan wanted Mike to do! He continued on with praising HIM and eventually, God did heal Morgan. I thought that it was pretty amazing that Mike realized what he needed to do in the big picture rather than looking at the small picture and doing what he thought would save Morgan. All this to say... the devil is trying to make that same deal with me right now and I am THANKFUL for Mike's example so that I don't make the mistake of cutting a deal with Satan. On the caringbridge site the other day, I had just updated about how great Hutton was doing and then her nurse came to get me and we ended up in the ER and I sat and helplessly watched Hutton dying. THANKFULLY, she didn't. I woke this morning and thanked God for Hutton's good days she has been having and when I went into her room, her nurse told me that she had a bad night and she thought she was getting a cold. Sigh. Maybe I should stop thanking God for Hutton's "good days". NOPE! I will not!!! I AM thankful. Look at her! Satan isn't the one who has shown mercy to her over and over again! It been MY GOD! Scientifically, Hutton shouldn't be alive right now. The only explanation of why she is alive is that it is God's will that she is. He has heard the prayers of his people. He IS GOOD and I will not stop THANKING Him for it. Every single day I have with Hutton is a gift from God, not Satan and I will never stop thanking him for those days! So on this Thankful Thursday, I am thankful for many things. The obvious being that Hutton is alive and we have another day with her. Another glorious day given to us by God! Thank you, Lord!
"What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did for your sakes in the presence of Christ, in order that no advantage be taken of us by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his schemes" 2 Corinthians 2: 10-11

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

A girl and her lamb









A little over a week ago, I got a sweet email from a sweet gal from Ohio. Her name is Tina Thompson and she makes the cutest dolls. She said she wanted to make one for Buttons and to check out her website (www.tinathompson.etsy.com) and let her know which one I wanted for her. Well, I absolutely fell in love with her precious dolls!There is something about them that made my heart swell as soon as I laid eyes on them. Not only is it special because it was given with such love by a sweet sweet lady but the bible verse on it is PERFECT for Hutton! " For I am your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you 'do not fear, I will help you' ". When I got it in the mail, it was even cuter! I handed it to Buttons and she instantly grabbed on to it and started to give it kisses! She LOVES holding on to her little lambs ears as she watches her Baby Einstein videos. So now Lamb goes everywhere with her. We need a good name for her. Thank you so much, Tina! I can't tell you how much we love it and appreciate your sweet lamb. She has found a good home next to Buttons!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

She sells sea shells by the seashore...


Look who pulled her tooth this morning before school! So much for her oil portrait that was supposed to be done before she lost her upper teeth! Hee Hee! It still makes for some pretty cute pics! Em- got time for a photo shoot?! JUST KIDDING!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Love Letters...

Whats this?!....

Let me get a closer look...

Oh! My Sweet Mimi! She wrote me a love letter!

Let me translate... "To Mommy From (arrow pointing to herself) Mimi

You have a great daughter and I love you and you're my great mom."

Isn't that so stinkin' sweet? She really DOES love me! By the way... she sounded it out all by herself! Pretty darn impressive since she hasn't even started kindergarten!